On the night of August 28th 2008 we knew Courtney had been in labor all day. We were just waiting for her to get farther along (it was a 24 hour labor, so we had to time it where we were waiting for a few hours only). We get the call saying it's time to come, and in fact we needed to be there two centimeters beforehand. Then Colby calls and asks if we can swing by Pleasant Grove and get Joseph on our way to the hospital. My Mom never drives crazy, she goes sixty on the freeway on a normal day.
We get Joseph, and my Mom was so frazzled, he had to give her directions. It's after 3 AM now, and we get there. Sign in, go up to their floor. In the room, Courtney is hooked up to oxygen and they had just hooked up her Epidural. After she and Colby had their fun pressing the button over and over (the one that gave off more of the medicine) she got giddy. It was awesome, and lightened everyones mood. I think reality hadn't quite settled in yet. At one point, she called out for everyone in the room to listen to her (there were lots of people there, nine people in all including her) and promptly said, "Everyone, even you Colby, in this room needs to get pregnant so they can have an epidural. Colby! Colby! Pinch my ass! I won't be able to feel it!!!"
It made us all laugh. Then Colby fed her ice chips, and we decided to give them privacy. The waiting room was a lonely place, no joke. It was just us, for most of the time. I took a nap, but I couldn't really sleep. I fell in and out, listening to my music. I don't even think I heard it--I can't remember what I listened to. Just how...unreal it all was.
Joseph and I played a card game, it was around five by then. It was a complicated game (or so it felt like it) and I kept forgetting the rules as we were playing. I can't remember if he was frustrated or not, but he sure was patient with me.
My Dad showed up, and I got a big pack of strawberry twizzlers from the cafeteria. I remember he was texting Jen the whole time, but I suppose she was his fiance at that time.
Courtney got further along, and once we heard she was fully dilated Courtney's Mom, my Mom, Krissi, and I rushed and listened at the door for something. Normally this wouldn't be allowed, the whole clogging hallways thing, but he was the only one being born at that time on the nearly empty floor so they allowed it. It was crazy, and I heard his cry. My Mom didn't believe me, until the nurse at the counter smiled and said he was the only one being born right then. And then we watched different people go in the room, but Colby and Courtney wanted a half hour to themselves, so we went back to the waiting room. What was longer than half an hour later, we were allowed to go in one by one. Courtney's Mom went first, and then my Mom. At some point I was allowed in, and Colby was standing there holding Smokey, a look on his face I had never seen and don't know if I will ever see again. His long dark hair covering one of his eyes. But he tilted him toward me, and said "check out his hat," so affectionately I almost burst into tears on the spot. But I reached over and looked at my nephew.
I asked if I could hold him, and Colby handed him to me like he had done it a thousand times.
Colby went back over to Courtney, who was so out of it and tired.
And we came back the next two days, the last two days we had with him.
It was the deepest kind of love I've ever felt. It's something I consider sacred, and I feel pity for those who don't want children. A life isn't lived if you don't have that.
I agree with Courtney in that she was meant to birth Samuel, just for Melinda and Jonathan. It happened the way it was supposed to, he's with amazing parents who love him so much. It can't be any other way. He's a blessing on all of our lives, and with the pain comes love so strong.
I'll never forget, and I don't think anyone who was in that hospital room that morning will either.
I love Smokey so much, and I hope to get to know him as he grows. I hope to spend time with him when he's old enough, if that's even possible.
I'm so glad it's an open adoption, and Jon and Mel are the people they are. They are truly amazing people, and I love them for everything they do. People don't get any more softhearted, kind, and loving than them.
Happy Birthday yesterday Sammy, love you forever. Cheers to my nephew, Melinda, and Jon for everything.
